| Signs That The Apocalypse Is Imminent Update: |
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| Thursday, 20 January 2005 | ||||
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And what about Dawn? Its been a long time since they had a hit and, while people might have tied ribbons around trees before, Id definitely credit them with making it a national craze. They should get with the program and cash in.
Well, guess who was an honored guest at George Bushs Inaugural Ball? Tony Orlando. Guess who is making a big comeback tour at casinos across the country? Tony Orlando. Guess whos missing in action, or M.I.A in currently chic military-speak? Dawn. Of course, why would two human beings agree to be billed as Dawn, in the first place? Being snubbed at the Bush shindig must mean that dawn is dead. We also might say that the sun has set on Dawn. Their last comeback appearance together with Tony represented the twilight of Dawn. Perhaps Tony Orlando would consider a new pair of backup singers. He could then bill his act as Tony Orlando and New Dawn. This would remind true patriots of Reagans Morning in America campaign. Since it looks like theres no plan for us to get our troops out of Iraq any time soon, maybe this act could hit the road for the Newt Gingrich 2008 campaign for President. Upon further review, Tony Orlando wasnt shy about weaseling another fifteen seconds of fame out of the tragedy of U.S. troops dying in an ill-advised war. Give him credit for following the example being set at the highest levels of the American govdernment and profiting from patriotism. Actually, after further research we found that the Yellow Ribbon tune landed Orlando a gig with Bob Hope back in the seventies. So the current Iraqi occupation represents the third American military conflict from which Orlando has profited. Nice work, if you can get it, Tony! Alt Correctly Predicts Tony Orlando Comeback By John McMahon In an article addressing the Ribbon Magnet phenomenon that swept the nation last year, we published the following about Seventies Has-been Tony Orlando: the whole yellow ribbon thing got started in the first gulf war and was inspired by the Tony Orlando and Dawn classic, Tie a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree. We know that Mr. Real (the Florida businessman whose ribbon magnets were discussed in this article) has applied for a patent on ribbon magnets, but shouldnt part of the proceeds of the yellow ribbon campaign go to Tony Orlando?
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